Mindfulness Tips for Dealing with Shopping Centre Car Parks at Christmas Time

This year I’ve been learning about a technique called mindfulness, this has involved going to some classes and workshops and reading some books. So what is mindfulness? Well…. my take on it is that we have a tendency to get stuck in our heads which stops us from connecting with what’s happening in the present. It’s about observing when your having thoughts without judging them… there’s also breathing techniques and other stuff thrown in for good measure but it’s mostly about paying attention to the moment, observing your thoughts without being critical. This explanation does little justice to a thousand years old Buddhist approach to life.
Anyway, this is somewhat relaxing when you take the time to sit and do it but let’s face it it's not that easy when your frazzled, pissed off, or just generally busy doing things other than observing…. So I thought I would give an example of how I applied my newfound mindfulness skills to my shopping centre visit yesterday….

Mindfulness Tips for Dealing with Shopping Centre Car Parks at Christmas Time

1. Drive to shopping centre, notice that you are thinking you are an idiot for leaving your Christmas shopping to the last minute, don’t judge this thought or get caught up in the thought simply observe that you having the thought that you are an idiot…
2. Become aware of the sensation of hot air blasting on your skin from your “air conditioning” as sweat trickles down various parts of your body…
3. Think about that “DVD” you watched on “The Secret” (http://thesecret.tv/) and remember what a lot of bollocks you thought it was but decide to apply the “principle of attraction” to getting a good car park anyway….
4. Spend the rest of the trip visualizing self pulling into a car park next to one of the entrances 5. Pull into major shopping centre car park and start the hunt….. see a car pulling out of your dream car park, place indicator on….
6. Observe a feeling of smug exhilaration …. thank the universe and suddenly believe that “the principle of attraction” is not crap but your newfound guiding principle in life…
7. Observe someone else take your car-park…
8. Observe a feeling of rage and a desire to ram the fuck out of their car… observe how this rage feels in your body as you tense up and clench the steering wheel, breathe, allow the angry, angry thoughts to swirl in your head, observe them…
9. Spend fifteen minutes searching for another car park…. Observe the feelings of rage slowly subside noting that negative emotions are transient states….
10. Close eyes and extend peace, goodwill and loving kindness to all mankind except for the son-of-a-bitch who stole my car-park he can go to hell…..