Is that the girl?

That was what my neighbour’s friend said to him as I was getting out of my car the other night. The amount of shushing that followed indicated to me that there was a pretty good chance I am in fact “the girl” in question. The obvious question that follows is what I have done to earn the status of the “the girl”…..

I live in a house that is rather close to the house next door…. I think it was built back in the early nineteen hundreds before quarter acre blocks and large fences divided neighbours. I quite like this; it makes you feel close to people without actually having to communicate with them. So, I was vaguely aware that it was possible that people could see what I was up to. Don’t get me wrong I don’t get up to any really wild, crazy stuff…

But…. and feel free to file this under too much information… I do believe that if you can’t feel comfortable walking around in various states of undress in your own space… then what the hell is the point of living on your own. Being scientifically minded I had conducted experiments. I had stood at various spots out on the street to ensure that you could not see into the house. I was pretty sure that my neighbours couldn’t see in.

So of course being scientifically minded, and possibly having too much spare time on my hands, I formulated some hypotheses as to what I have done to earn “the girl” status based on what my neighbours can see:

Is that “the girl” who likes to vacuum at ridiculous hours of the evening?

Is that “the girl” who does irregular lunges and exercise ball sit ups during episodes of the Simpson’s?

Is that “the girl” who regularly leaves her sheets hanging on the line for extended periods of time?

Is that “the girl” whose never-ending cycle of pot plants on the window sill attests to the fact that she’s not good at keeping things alive?

Lastly and possibly the most likely option …..

Is that “the girl” you see naked on a fairly regularly basis?

I guess I should really pull down the blinds